These days

Well, Samara is fast asleep. It's 10:00am now and she has been since about 7:30. This is this new thing she likes to do to spite me after keeping me up all night! Still, I don't mind. She growing so well and sleeping a little more than she used to, despite a really fussy couple of days. She now weighs almost 12lbs, which is nearly double her birth weight and she has ultra-squeezable thighs! We're having lots of fun with her, though the weekends are just too short. Her memory only lasts about 24 hours, it seems, so whoever spends a lot of time with her the day before (other than me!) gets the most smiles the next day. It's usually a toss-up between Steve, my mother and Marina, but Daddy trumps all on the weekends. Nursing is still a challenge. It's sort of like living paycheck to paycheck, wondering if I'll have enough for the next feed. Samara is taking about 9oz of formula a day and I'm supplying the rest. I'd love to have enough for her for all time, but she's a hungry growing girl who needs more than me :( It's okay though. I am just so grateful she is so healthy. So many mothers struggle to get their babies to eat, to take a bottle, to switch to formula. My heart goes out to them so much. While it can be overwhelming that Samara is always hungry, I'm blessed by her appetite. Steve is still at AIG, believe it or not. They even threw a company pizza party for them all on Friday. A sort of "sorry the company almost collapsed/we have government $$$" thing. He's there for a little longer and we're just praying he finds something else soon. I've been doing a little tutoring which is helping pay the bills and my old principal called me last week to ask if I might return to teaching, on my terms, at some point. That night, I cried, as I never thought I'd have to leave my baby, but I think to make ends meet, I might have to. I'm toying with the idea of a January return, for just 3-4 hours a day. It's not too bad, and I might just have to do it for a while so we can qualify for a home loan. I did love my job there, so it'd be okay, but how I'll ever leave my baby, I dare not think. The good thing is, the school is less than a mile away and Peter says I can come home between classes, whenever I like. I am flattered they're willing to do anything to have me back and I suppose grateful that we have this financial opportunity. Every little bit helps and we all have to make some sacrifices. My mother is pushing for me to do it as she's kindly offered to watch Samara those mornings but for now I'd rather not think about it. Life with my little one is just so good. Here are some recent photos of our little monkey.