Back in the Bog

It’s hard to believe we are really back, our wonderful journey was real and it's back to the grind now. I hadn’t wanted to write these past weeks. The wonders of family and friends and being all together absorbed me entirely. The beauty of the ocean as the backdrop to our games and laughter and the freedom from long work weeks that drain you to the bone spoiled us thoroughly. As our last days in Boston sped by, I had to find a way to go from dreading our return to wishing it here so that the real countdown could begin. Not just the fact that we are now buzzing away the days until Baby D, but also, soon after that, we will take our baby home, for good. A ticking clock when with the people you love the most seems so unfair. Steve is back at work and so I’ve been playing housewife all morning: washing, stocking up the fridge, cleaning and trying my very hardest not to have a quiet moment to get sad. I also tried on all of my new gifted maternity clothes and I was shocked how lovely and actually almost fitting many of them are. I do love my bump. I love watching it grow and grow and even shift from side to side. Baby has already had lots of good vibes sent to him from knowing new mothers, and one-day Mummies. Nothing compared to Marina’s purring deep into my belly to try to convince Junior that cats are not evil. Lovely and tickly as it is, our baby will never be that foolish.

Our last week at home, I had two vivid and wonderful baby dreams. The first, we had a baby girl, I was nursing her, and life was amazing. The second, the doctor told us we could have a preview of our little one and brought the baby out, into the open air, to be caressed and adored by us for a minute or two, before reinserting the bundle, like a tray of brownies that are delicious but could use a little more firming up.

As I write, I can’t help but look, and look away, into another apartment window, directly across from ours. We have giant windows, as do they, but unlike them, we don’t stand stark naked in front of ours… for hours! This couple has a brand new little baby and this morning, already, I have seen mother and father bathe, change, feed and play with their little one, all in the nude. Beautiful as their routine seems to be, I wonder if that happens to all new parents?

Speaking of acclimatizing ourselves, I’ve been reading our newest baby books and they all insist that a newborn must remain at 72 or 74 degrees in the home. I’ve been wracking my brain as to how I might achieve anything like this. Our apartment gets so cold and we have no heating. I did, however, indulge in a few baby snugglers at Macy’s and am very pleased to announce that today, while wondering the shops (so as not to get sad, remember) I found lots of lovely baby things a stone’s throw from where we live. I promise I won’t buy anything until it’s on sale though…

I miss everyone so much. It makes me cry sometimes not to have my Mummy, sisters and best friends near me right now, but I do have the best hubby in the world, and I know that what lies ahead is greater and more amazing than I can dare imagine and worth any loneliness, discomfort or flabbiness I have now. I just wish they were here, or I was still there… but visitors are most definitely welcome!

Anyway, happy 2008 to everyone! It’s going to be the best one yet!