15 weeks old tomorrow!

I can stick out my tongue

But still cross my feet like a lady

And at last I love lying on the rug and being hyper!

These days

Well, Samara is fast asleep. It's 10:00am now and she has been since about 7:30. This is this new thing she likes to do to spite me after keeping me up all night! Still, I don't mind. She growing so well and sleeping a little more than she used to, despite a really fussy couple of days. She now weighs almost 12lbs, which is nearly double her birth weight and she has ultra-squeezable thighs! We're having lots of fun with her, though the weekends are just too short. Her memory only lasts about 24 hours, it seems, so whoever spends a lot of time with her the day before (other than me!) gets the most smiles the next day. It's usually a toss-up between Steve, my mother and Marina, but Daddy trumps all on the weekends. Nursing is still a challenge. It's sort of like living paycheck to paycheck, wondering if I'll have enough for the next feed. Samara is taking about 9oz of formula a day and I'm supplying the rest. I'd love to have enough for her for all time, but she's a hungry growing girl who needs more than me :( It's okay though. I am just so grateful she is so healthy. So many mothers struggle to get their babies to eat, to take a bottle, to switch to formula. My heart goes out to them so much. While it can be overwhelming that Samara is always hungry, I'm blessed by her appetite. Steve is still at AIG, believe it or not. They even threw a company pizza party for them all on Friday. A sort of "sorry the company almost collapsed/we have government $$$" thing. He's there for a little longer and we're just praying he finds something else soon. I've been doing a little tutoring which is helping pay the bills and my old principal called me last week to ask if I might return to teaching, on my terms, at some point. That night, I cried, as I never thought I'd have to leave my baby, but I think to make ends meet, I might have to. I'm toying with the idea of a January return, for just 3-4 hours a day. It's not too bad, and I might just have to do it for a while so we can qualify for a home loan. I did love my job there, so it'd be okay, but how I'll ever leave my baby, I dare not think. The good thing is, the school is less than a mile away and Peter says I can come home between classes, whenever I like. I am flattered they're willing to do anything to have me back and I suppose grateful that we have this financial opportunity. Every little bit helps and we all have to make some sacrifices. My mother is pushing for me to do it as she's kindly offered to watch Samara those mornings but for now I'd rather not think about it. Life with my little one is just so good. Here are some recent photos of our little monkey.

Holy Moly - my 3 month old!

I can't believe my little baby girl is 3 months old! Every day she is more fun. The smiles are infinite and the laughter is just beginning. She holds her blanket, coos in delight and notices bling! She doesn't have to eat every hour anymore, either! It makes me so happy that she can go a couple of hours now without needing milk or even fussing. She has a deep-rooted passion for the Sox and Patriots and is both a Daddy's and Mummy's girl. She sees us in the morning and smiles before her eyes are even open and it makes us feel the best we've ever felt. She still cuddles and dribbles, hits herself on the head and loves bathtime. She wore her first woolly hat on her morning walk today as it's no long summer here, but the sky is blue and it's beautiful everyday. I love her more and more.

Our first outing

On Saturday, we went to Doug and Andrea's wedding. It was our first time leaving Samara and it was hard! I was crying as we left, but gladly found a burp cloth in my purse to dry my eyes, and smell my baby all night. I knew she was in the best hands, staying with my mother and Marina, but it was so hard to leave her. That said... we had a brilliant time! It was so fun to dance with my dashing hubby once again (the last time we did was the night we found out we were having Samara!) and see our great friends tie the knot. The food was delicious, company great and we were home by 11pm to our gorgeous baby and her adoring grandparents. We are so lucky.

Two of the dashing groomsmen

The newlyweds

Samara's call

Well, we were all packed up and in the car to go to the baby group, but Samara had a major break-down and we're now calm on the couch. I'll admit, I'm really sad to miss it -again- but I'd rather be here than have her screaming in the back seat for 30 minutes. It is too distressing. The little one just didn't want to drive all the way to Beverly. Actually, truth be told, she is usually terrible in the car so I try to limit our alone journeys. She's better if someone can ride in the back with her, but with Steve gone for 13 hours a day, those opportunities are now very rare. With being in England and so on, I hadn't been to the group in 4 weeks, so I was really looking forward to it, but maybe next week. We're flexi! But I sure would love it if Samara loved her car seat and stroller. After a week of 7-8-9 hour sleeps, last night we were down to 2, probably explaining why I so wanted to get out of the house today, but she's calm now, in my arms, her eyes, heavy. I'd do anything to see her happy.

8 hours of sleep and something new everyday.

Samara slept 8 hours again - hooray! We had a great time at the baby group yesterday and met some new friends. We've also discovered that she likes the TV! We had thought it was just Bill Clinton's womanizing ways as she totally silenced her wailing when he came on the screen the other night at the DNC but now we realize it's all things bright and beautiful! She also is learning to love her Baby Bjorn carrier which is wonderful. I love carrying her in it and it's a relief to my baby. She's only 10.5lbs, but 16 hours straight of anything can be a strain! She's still petite, but so very alert and clever! One lady in Marshalls bizarrely said yesterday..."I buy roast beef bigger than her." People are weird! But the good news is, Samara loves Marshalls!

We miss Daddy

After Samara's 8 hour nap, we awoke at 4:45 and at 6:30 we took Steve to the bus stop. He had his first packed lunch in a long time and gosh, is it only 8:15 now? We miss him. We've been so lucky with all of this quality time together. There aren't many Dads who get to spend the first two and a half months with their baby. We are grateful, but for the amazing burper, changer and fun company that he is, we sure do like having him around.

Days gone by

Time on the computer is not too plentiful these days, but I'm not complaining. Even now, I'm typing with one hand. Yes, it's quite a talent and will soon be added to my CV. Speaking of CVs, Steve is still looking for a job... yikes! Actually he just found a part-time job in the last 15 minutes (he just called me from the Boston interview) so that is great, but it's not utilizing any of his many talents and so we pray on...

Life, other than jobs and money, is great! Samara is smiling and laughing and interacting so much more. She has also started sleeping 6-8 hours a night! She doesn't nap much during the day, but if we're both lucky, and I have nothing else going on, she and I snuggle up together for an hour or so around Oprah time and usually fall asleep. It's one of my most favorite things. Other favorites are the feel of her breath on my face, the way she gasps when a hand touches her forehead, the way she fills in the blanks in our conversations, the way she sticks her two fists in her mouth, Samara hickies, her kisses and her warmth. I feel so lucky to have a daughter and I can't wait to get to know her more.