Zzzzz's

This morning, as usual, I woke up feeling like a bus had run me over. We had a relaxing day yesterday, except for the fact that we got locked out of our apartment for a few hours. We have been having trouble with our door for a couple of days and yesterday, when we went out to get some yummy cakes and other necessities, we couldn't get back in. Despite the fact that we've now had it up to 'here' with this building, being on our bustly little street in Bogota, we found a locksmith within 5 minutes who then took just an hour to break into our home. It turns out our rusty, wobbly lock was a little more secure than we thought. Anyway, as it rained most of yesterday we caught up on the next couple of episodes of Season Five 24, and Steve enjoyed highlights of the NFL Draft and the Celtics game last night. While we're all about when in Rome doing as the Romans do, he hates the fact all is favorite sports are in Spanish. I guess a lot about Long, Youk and Big Baby gets lost in translation. We went out for a walk in the drizzle and stumbled upon a peso palace, our dollar store. I bought a tape measure. Never really needed one before, but it's always nice for a girl to know her widest point is 40 inches. Yikes. And it stinks having a tall and slim husband! Still, I am so amazed at Baby D's sudden strength and growth and though he/she didn't succeed in kicking in our front door for us, I am quite sure we have something of an athlete in there. Steve says no to synchronized swimmers, though.
I spent most of my life sleeping boca abajo with no pillows, but now I require 5, mininum. With two, I set up a little mountainous valley and try to balance in between (this is as close as I'm getting to a hike these days), with another two I set up a peak for my head, and with the last one, I put it between my knees. It's quite amusing, apparently, and thankfully Steve doesn't mind the national monument between his baby and him. I've never thought myself so finicky, but sleep has been my greatest challenge. This is the only way I seem to be able to muster even an hours snooze, before getting up to empty the bladder than junior seems to love to kick! Some mornings when I get out of bed, with a full bladder and chubby bunny sitting on it, I wonder if this is one one-hundredth of what I'll feel like after labor. It really is hard to move. For our next pregnancy, I plan on having us an actual mattress to sleep on!
I mentioned shopping for cakes. These past few weeks, I've been craving sweet things in an unbelievable way. Granted, I come from a womb that when given a kilo of Starbursts for Christmas, eats all of them in one sitting, at least until her fingers numb to the opening of the wrappers, but suddenly no meal is complete without a little chocolate or sweet to seal the deal. I never even really liked chocolate that much. Anyway, I'm trying to eat lots of fruit and veggies, oh and fiber, as we know what that's good for...but it's hard to resist the sugar and spice and everything nice. Could this mean we are having a girl?
But stop-press, I've just learned Mummy now thinks we're having a boy!

Un Bebe Chowa

Ana Veronica and Me

Yesterday evening, I was thrown a surprise baby shower by some friends from school. It was so touching and so fun to share the time with them. It was at Dolly's beautiful house and we enjoyed some traditional Colombian foods and lots of baby chatter. They do actually call them bebe chowas here! The bond between mothers is wonderful. Baby D was given some lovely new outfits, the softest baby blanket from Spain and lots of practical treats. I feel so spoiled, but as the girls reminded me, the gifts are not mine! I was so overwhelmed by their kindness and generosity and it was so fun to imagine our little one in all of these new clothes. Steve said it's better not knowing whether it's a boy or girl as this way we get so many different colors! The time is ticking now. It is too exciting!!

With Pilar

With my boss and old friend, Marisa

With my great friend, Beatriz

Most of the girls

Coming soon to a baby near us...

30.5 weeks

We were back at the hospital yesterday for our meeting with Fernie and he said all is well. We are so happy. We celebrated by finally going out for Steve's birthday meal, and Junior seemed very pleased with that. So, all the news is good, except that now I have a 5-day work week ahead of me! As the Cubans always say, 'no es facil...'
Sleeping is still terrible, but as long as baby is getting rest and chubby in my tummy, I can't complain. I've recently noticed a bunch of new freckles and moles in places that the sun certainly hasn't seen since I was a wee lass, when my mother insisted that we run around in boy-like trunks, perhaps because they had only two girls at that time. I googled them (the freckles, not the metro sexual trunks) and found that this is very common in pregnancy. I find changes like these very bizarre, but most intriguing and I guess they all build character.
Time is flying now. On Tuesday, we're 31 weeks. Baby's size is perfect and we are very grateful. According to the doctor, his/her head is like a 'coco'. Steve seems amused that his long face gene was crushed by the round headed Hares. I am grateful for his good humor on this one!
Throughout all the scans and 'urgencias' of the last week, we always reminded the doctors we didn't want to know the sex. One doctor looked baffled, but respected our wishes, until leaving the examination room when she paused and asked, "So, if it's a boy, what will you call it?" Steve and I just looked at each other and then she quickly asked the same for a girl. Colombians think we're crazy, but as one of the last great surprises left in life, we can't wait to see on the day. We're not decorating a nursery or anything here, since we're moving so soon, so the pressure's off there. What this baby doesn't have in colors and gadgets, we'll make sure it has in love. I've been so touched by the care and concern we've had from just about everyone here. If there's one good thing that comes from such a macho society, it must be that pregnant women reign! It's a very bizarre feeling accepting a stranger's seat on the bus or sitting down on a chair that someone has dragged half way across school for you, and I'm not sure if I like it, but I know it's not really for me. As one teacher said, I am no longer just "Victoria." I am "the mother of..." and I'm trying my best to be selflessly selfish.

A few more people, in search of their bonus points, have put their money where their mouth is. These are the outstanding few, aside from the dozens of predictions I get each day at school:

Mummy - Girl
Marina - Girl
Harriet - Girl
Steve - Girl

Anne - Boy
Colleen - Boy
Matthew - Boy
Whitney - Boy
Ali - Boy
Susannah - Boy
Me - Boy!

Let me know...

Wishing, and Hoping...

What a day we had yesterday. Steve’s birthday was certainly not-uneventful. On Monday, my school hosted “English Day,” a fun-filled, action-packed day full of cultural events, games and activities. It was crazy busy and even today, two days later, my legs are virtually stale-mated as it was certainly the closest I’ll get to a marathon at 7 months. It was very successful and very tiring and truth be told, while I was thinking of Baby all day, I didn’t really notice during those 9 hours that he/she hadn’t been kicking. I did notice, however, on the way home, as my chest began to pain, at dinner and all night long while I waited for him/her to give me a reason to be awake. But nothing. Around 1:00am on Tuesday, I started getting worried. I wanted to wake Steve up, but I thought, what kind of a birthday present is that? Instead, I tossed and turned silently all through the night. Sometimes I’d get up to jiggle, sometimes to try to eat something, but the only movement I felt was a body moving because mine did. When Steve woke up around 5, I wished him a happy birthday but my eyes were already welling with tears and I had to tell him why I was upset. I went to school as usual and asked a friend with a 1 year old whether these 36 hours without motion were normal. She suggested I put some ice on my tummy as that had once made a difference for her. There I sat, in the middle of the teachers’ room, the ice melting at record speed as I am always 5 degrees warmer than the average person, it seems, but no kicks. A small crowd of teachers gathered around, all wishing for baby to strike a pose and my heart, which had been looking for reassurance trembled a little more as I looked into the eyes of these kind new friends. Jason said this happened to his baby that he lost and I had to see a doctor. Cristina wiped the puddle of water from the floor beneath me. Monica had tears in her eyes. Beatriz stroked my back and Gabby just called for someone to take me to the hospital. I was shocked at how afraid they all were, and obviously it made me very emotional. That said, then and there, no sooner had I finished my 1.5 hour journey down the dirt path was I going back the other way. Dolly, a kind teacher with a car, drove me the nearly 2 hours to the clinic where my doctor said to go to Emergencies. Fortunately, it was almost empty. My blood pressure and temperature were taken and then I was taken in to the examination room where they got out the Doppler heart montitor. In what was probably the longest 2 minutes of my life, the kind doctor on call struggled and struggled, having to fetch another machine, change my position and get some assistance. Finally, very low down and to the right they found a subtle beat and my heart rejoiced. Nothing is more concerning than a look of anguish on your doctor’s face, and nothing is more beautiful than the sound of your baby’s heart. Those are two of life certainties. My eyes filled with tears all over again and I ran out to tell Dolly who was waiting for me. They then set me up for a fetal monitoring, in which they attach several wires and taps to your tummy and chest to measure the heart beat, movements and possible contractions. Again, Dolly sat with me for those 30 minutes, sometimes reading me the numbers I barely understood as I had to have my back to the machine for half of the time, sometimes trying to make me laugh. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t called Steve yet, but something inside me just longed to call him with wonderful news. After all, he was the birthday boy and all my plans of making the day special for him, decorating the apartment, buying him a few token presents on the way home from school, were shot. After the monitoring, my doctor was called in from home and he sat with me to explain the results. Mostly I remember him saying, ‘no son normales, no estoy satisfecho’ and he said that our baby wasn’t moving and he couldn’t see why. He ordered more tests and I called Steve, guilty for maybe ruining his birthday, but desperate to have him near.

And so, another 3 hours passed. Steve arrived, Dolly left, hugs and kisses were exchanged, but still baby didn’t kick. After hours of waiting and prodding, worrying and praying, a biophysical exam revealed our baby hadn’t lost his strength and tone, as they feared, the amniotic fluid level was correct and even though he/she was still as the night, the heart, diaphragm and organs were perfect. As I have written before, there is no relief like hearing a doctor say, ‘your baby is perfect.’ Fernando doesn’t usually take it that far, perhaps it’s being a man, but our female doctor stroked my tummy and put our hearts so much at ease as she those words. So, some good news at last. We met again with Fernie who told me he could only guess that the baby was suffering from fetal exhaustion, from me working too hard, and he gave me a doctor’s ordered two days off. I am now monitoring baby’s every movement from home and have to return to see him in 2 days.

Baby did finally kick last night when we got home, and I was so grateful that in the end, I hadn’t ruined Steve’s birthday. He’d spent it with me and Baby and we were all going to be fine. As he took a shower, I sneaked out to the shop next door and found him an apple pie birthday cake (yes, strange, but absolutely his favorite) and as baby and I sung our favorite guy “Happy Birthday,” his adoring child finally danced. We were in bed early with little pomp and circumstance, but such gratitude for a day that ended okay. Baby was quiet again in the night, but I have tried to feed him/her well today, rest lots and hope to do that tomorrow. Never has the responsibility of carrying this little one seemed so great and never have I prayed harder that I will do it as well as he/she deserves. Thinking about yesterday still makes me hands tremble and heart ache, but I know baby is okay and I just have to be less selfish and more careful. A mother’s life starts here…

Wishing for another weekend...

What a weekend! Saturday morning was rudely interrupted at our usual get-up-and-go time of 5:30am because I had parent conferences at school. I really don’t mind chatting to the padres, as a lot of good can come from the talks, but Saturdays in Bogota are horrific as it’s the only day of the week all cars are allowed to drive. Getting anywhere on 4 wheels takes at least a couple of hours more than any other day. And so, my usual 2 hour bumpy, dusty journey to and from Guaymaral did again take 4 hours in total. At one point on the way home, I got myself into a little state as I was so car sick, hot and lacking air. My ears blocked up and I was so afraid I was going to pass out right then and there, mostly because that would make the bus pull over (if anyone even noticed) and we would be further delayed, but luckily my hubby called me at just the right time and talked me back to composure.

Getting home, I was ready to collapse after such a long day, but the evening turned a little crazy from then on. As soon as I walked in, Steve asked me if I could smell something. Without a doubt there was a toxic odor oozing out of our walls. He already had a headache and a bad taste in his mouth but we had no idea what was causing it. We let the guards know, and then went out to our local coffee shop where we enjoyed the fresh air (which usually seems so disgusting as you sit out there on the main street) for a couple of hours. Around 6 we returned home, only to find, despite all the windows being open, the smell was only more intense. We called the gas company, but they said they couldn’t come for 24 hours, despite the fact that I warned them we might all die. We called the building administrator, but they were far less than helpful. We asked our neighbors what repairs they’d been doing that afternoon, but they considered us petty and annoying foreigners. I was in tears as no one would care, trying not to breathe, knowing we had to fix this problem, but so scared for our little baby. I just read an American Scientist article last week about the chemicals and toxins they found in the first ever study of its sort on umbilical cords, and what damage they do. With every half breath, I could feel my lungs trying so hard to not let the poison in. After all of these phone calls and complaints, we took to the streets again. Roaming around Cedritos, getting some dinner at McDonalds and wondering where we’d sleep that night. It was a strange feeling, homeless in a city that wasn’t even really home. It was 9:00pm already and we just didn’t feel comfortable calling one of our new friends to impose. We tried some local hotels but they were all full. We tried sleeping on the floor of the apartment lobby, but the guards made us leave. Our options were few, I was so exhausted and emotional and Steve’s new verse of Alanis Morisette’s “Ironic,” stating how inappropriately unfair it was that our condo in Swampscott sits empty, with a bed and everything, while we take to the streets in Colombia, was not too welcome. Around 10:30, we decided to be brave and imposing at once and call my good friend Beatriz. In an instant she welcomed us in. With our noses pinched, we ran up to our 7^th floor apartment, grabbed a bag for our toothbrushes and pajamas and caught a bus to her place. We passed intoxicated masses on the way, bumping into my bump as they stumbled onto the bus or unsuccessfully trying to avoid potholes on the streets. At last though, we arrived and Beatriz’s smile and good humor instantly made us laugh. It ended up being a fun sleepover and she was gracious enough to let us get to bed before long, and I am so grateful to her, my one great, natural and instant friend here. As explained last night, we left dark and early this morning, before she woke, as we had to try to sort out the gas and the inspectors were coming at 7. We returned home and the toxic vapor was now concentrated near our bedroom and bathroom, but here, where I sit now, in the living room, it was mostly gone. We have spent much of today, again, trying to figure it out, but it seems like a very pungent chemical was applied to the walls and windows of our neighbors and because of our countless holes and terrible insulation, we are soaking it all up. We are sleeping here tonight, in the living room (but that’s nothing new) and with the windows wide open. We are confident the toxins are gone from where we are, glad to be back and okay, but to be honest, more anxious than ever to return to Boston, where we have family we could stay with in any emergency, where a gas leak and chemical outbreak are taken seriously, where drugs and drunks, corruption and crime are present but perhaps less obvious. We are half way through April already and the time is flying, but I long to keep this little one in my tummy safe and healthy and sometimes, it seems so much harder here. I’m trying my best… your prayers are so important to us.

Hurdy-Gurdy!

Yesterday was a great day! I found out that Hilary is pregnant! Nothing is more exciting than going through pregnancy with one of your best friends. She’s 17 weeks along and of course looking far more beautiful than me! I’m so happy! I wish we still lived in the same town, but this is too wonderful for words! It’s also funny how being 3 months ahead of someone who’s expecting suddenly makes you realize how far along you are! I love that we are past the critical stage now and every week, Baby D just gets fatter and fatter! With all of his/her organs set, and just the lungs to develop, it’s unbelievable that our baby could actually be born any day! While of course I long for that, I also know that it’s best if we can get another month or two under our belts! Anyway, happy days.

Not so great days have been brought upon us, once again, by our condo. “Eddie,” our tenant for whom we were SO grateful turned out to be utterly dishonest and crazy and we are once again paying out that dollar mortgage with our Colombian pesos. There’s some serious interest, but I won’t write again about the whole nightmare until I see the check cleared in the bank, and a few days thereafter in fact, as we had someone’s check clear only to be withdrawn four days later. Who knew that could happen? And who knew there were so many terrible time-wasters on Craigslist?

Sleep has been awful for the past week, despite the fact that we’ve moved permanently to the couch which is so much more comfortable than our bed. Last night, sadly, there were even some desperate tears around 4:30am when I’d been awake for over three hours, having slept just one. Today I feel like a zombie, with eyes so glazed over and sore to the sun that it hurts to even blink. I need to figure this one out…

But Baby is wonderful. The movements are so strong and pronounced now. It makes me so happy. Some people who see the dinosaur movements on my tummy or we tell of the outwardly visible motion find it very creepy, just as Marina and Squirrel did when Mummy told them of how she could actually grab their little feet in there, but I just love it. I’m still not too good at distinguishing actually body parts, but since I’ve had some scary dreams of hands and feet pushing through the skin like pizza dough, I’m okay with that for now! We are 29 weeks today and every hour, a little closer to meeting our little one.

More Pics

Here are a few more photos from Semana Santa. Now we live for the next family reunion!

10 points up for grabs!

Check out our adorable nieces, now 7 months old. Babies just get sweeter and sweeter! I've had two dreams this week that we are having a girl, something that Steve has been 85% sure of since day 1 (that's a direct quotation, he's a stats guy). It's very confusing, as a dream changes everything! So far these are the concrete predictions I've had...

Mummy - Girl
Marina - Girl
Matthew - Boy
Whitney - Boy
Ali - Boy
Other Victoria D. - Girl

Of course all of my students have their ideas and name suggestions. I'm offering 10pts on the final exam for a correct prediction.

Let me know what you think!

What do you think?